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	Holding back, coming out by BILLY WATKINS - The Clarion-Ledger on 11/2 at 9:16 pm. Viewed 1082 times.


	JACKSON, Miss. -- Zach Booth of Vicksburg was 13 years old and had never seriously pondered his sexual orientation. "I wasn't particularly attracted to girls, but I just figured I would grow into it," said Booth, now 21. "But then one day a bunch of us were at the pool and this guy, who was a little older than me, took his shirt off and I could not take my eyes off of him. "That's when I went 'Oh, crap. Am I gay?' It was so hard to reconcile that thought in my own mind. All I had ever heard was that gay people were bad and someone you don't want to be. I remember looking in the mirror and thinking 'You don't look gay.' It just didn't seem possible." There are countless stories similar to Zach Booth's, said Sarah Young, a new voices fellow with the American Civil Liberties Union of Mississippi and a member of the Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition, which summarizes its mission as an organization to "ensure that students have a safe learning environment by protecting students' constitutional rights, ending discrimination and fostering acceptance through public education." "I know there are a lot of people going through the same thing because we get calls from students who say 'I'm gay. I'm being harassed. What can I do?'" Young said. Phone calls have increased, Young said, since Wesson Attendance Center senior Ceara Sturgis chose to have her senior portrait taken wearing a tuxedo instead of a drape. Sturgis, who is gay and a member of the National Honor Society, was informed in September that her photograph would not be included in the yearbook. Telling the world - and one's parents - that he or she is gay can be a traumatic experience, Young said. "Reaching high school students has been very difficult," Young said. "Kids are worried about being kicked out of the house, financially cut off. But we know they are being bullied (at school.) "I actually had a student call me and tell me that he was constantly being called a certain name by a teacher. When we offered to come to his school and give a program about bullying and how it is wrong, he became very afraid. He felt the bullying would get even worse and that he might have to come out to his parents. So he said 'no thanks.' "And I think it's even tougher for men to come out because men often feel threatened about a man not being manly." Booth, a junior at the University of Southern Mississippi, chose to become openly gay when entering his senior year at Vicksburg High School. "I think maybe my parents suspected it because even though I had girlfriends, I never called them or invited them over to the house," Booth said. "When I did tell them, my mom cried for about two weeks. My dad didn't speak to me for a while. And I felt awful. Share your coming out stories...

Comments(17):

SimplyKemper

11/8 at 21:46

When I came out, My parent's had interesting reactions. My dad said, "No shit, and..?" My Mom got all excited and said "Oh I always wanted a little girl!" Not quite what I was expecting, but at least they were cool with it.

th3kid

11/6 at 4:10

well... my mom and brother decided to move my dresser and i hide all my porn under there.. so there they were and some other gay guy outed me to my sister... yeah none of them really cared. i just havent told my dad who gay bashes whenever he gets the chance... and yeah. my sister was mad that i never told her, my brother always sticks up for gays when my dad starts his shit and my mom loves me even more... i guess im kinda blessed.

serano88

11/3 at 21:09

Mine isn't like the usual poor kid story, I was the hardest one on myself. I was raised christian and to this day still fight with it from time to time. I came out at 17 but I've always known just tried to fight the idea. When I told my dad he simply looked at me and said "Duh" while my mother said "I thought thats what you wanted to talk to me about I've known for years. Did you tell your father, what did he say? What an asshole" That's about the just of it. Nothing to interesting other than my personal battle and the depression thats involved with it. Its just of a matter of accepting who I am and liking that person.

loveless2

11/3 at 16:38

i knew i was gay at the age of 12 came out age 16 my mother and i were having a big fight over silly situations and when suddenly i i said you know what iam gay iam gay that made her cry they denied it for while till my sister saw me at school with a boy named pete holding hands this was in texas it was hard teachers looked at us people tried to beat me up i was harrassed somtimes but i survied my sophmore year. i knew liked boys when i would look guys who were older then me change at the locker room i could not denied it no mor hahaa espeacially the football players hahaha i was a little prev hahahahah but anyways some how my family has accepted who iam and they still think some day i will not like men no more i mean if thats how they cope with it good for them i know who iam and always will be.

goddamn

11/3 at 15:34

I'm 19. In October of 2008, I came out to my parents and I was kicked out of my home. A month later, I was welcomed back in. But exactly one year later (to the day), I was kicked out AGAIN. My sister told me that I was out of line for asking if I could stay at her house instead of living on the streets because that would involve her in the situation. "Why would my own brother do that to me?" shes asked. "Because I thought you weren't a fuckin looney toon," I responded. With no friends or family willing to give me a helping hand, I had to live on the streets until my dad finally agreed to let me come live with the family...again. Long story short: life fuckin sucks. Whatevuh, make the best of it. Or die.

Ravyn1369

11/3 at 14:29

i was 17 when i came out, i was stressing out about final exams and couldn't concentrate, mainly because i was worried about coming out to my parents, and i was originally planning on coming out after graduation but the stress was so much, so i went outside to where my dad was washing the jeep and said i need to talk to you, and flat out i said im gay, he laughed a lil and said he was wondering when i was gonna come right out and say it, then a few days later when i was with my mom while she was working i came out to her and she said shes always knew and they both love me no matter what and as long as im happy they are happy, the only one in my family that doesnt like me being gay is my step mom, but my sisters love it, they take me shopping with them all the time so i can pick stuff out for them.

Bradlovesu

11/3 at 14:07

i came out to my cousin first and she told me she was bi, then i told my older sister then i came out to my mom a couple days before my 16th b day then we went out to orlando and she tried to get a waiters number for me although it was accepted really easy for my family to accept it cause my two older sisters are bi so my mom was like your still my son and i love you. so that made it really easy now me and my mom are even closer

funkewhiteboeee

11/3 at 8:56

When I was young maybe around 16 or 17 I had told my mom that I thought I was bi. She just said "No your not, your probably just confused." I knew I wasnt, but at that time I was content with the situation/conversation I had just had. Then a couple years later I was at a wedding, and a really drunk friend of mine cut in and started dancing with me. So the next day I was telling my mom about the wedding and how he cut in, and was drunk, and it was funny. Her first response was "Is he gay?" I said "No Mom." then she asked me "Do you like girls?" and I paused and in my mind I was trying to determine, Keep up the lie, or tell her the truth? So I said "Mom, we need to talk." So I told her, and thankfully she was so understanding. She did say that in the back of her mind she had thuoght I might be gay. About a week or so later it was time to tell my dad. Now I was really freaking out because Im his only son, (I have 2 older sisters), and he was/is somewhat a racist, and his grandson is half black. So in my mind I felt that my dad would hurt himself because he has a half black grandson, and his only son is gay. So, I called him on the phone (my parents are divorced by the way) and said, that I needed to talk to him, and I told him that I was gay. I could hear him choking up, and he said "I have to go" and hung up the phone. I then slowly started coming out to friends and co-workers. A lot of people didnt believe me, and kinda still dont because of how straight acting I am. But My dad and I are still close, but we have never talked about me being gay or anything. I just wonder how he will react if I ever bring a boyfriend to a holiday function. A lot of my extended family knows also. Im just glad that to all the people I have come out to I havent lost any friends. Thanks for reading.

lucalight

11/3 at 0:28

I came out to my best friend when I was 14 or 15. She had just come out as a lesbian so I felt I had someone who could understand me. Well, she told the whole school and I live in a small town so it got around pretty fast. Surprisingly, my mother didn't find out until I was almost 17. The youth pastor at the local church told her because I was going on an out of state trip with the church and he wanted me staying in the room with him and the other chaperone so that he knew I wasn't trying anything with any of the guys. That made me mad but when I got home after that weekend mom told me that she was disappointed in me and not having a very close relationship with my mom, I told her to get over it. She still doesn't talk about it much but she does accept it. The hardest for me though was my brother finding out two years ago. He's 9 years older than me and his wife has got him more close-minded than he ever was. He tried starting a fight with me, shoving me against mom's car, saying I'm no brother of his, how I'm disgusting, and how I never do anything for my mother. All in front of my grandma at his daughter's birthday party. He did call me the night after to apologize but it took us a year to get back to speaking terms. I still haven't told my oldest sister but with the way my family gossips, I'm sure she knows. My other sister has been supportative of me and even went to my niece's birthday and spent the whole day fighting with my brother about me.

Geef

11/3 at 0:16

i first came out to my brother wen i was doin the dishes my freshmen year in highschool. He Totally Freaked an went an told my whole family. i was kinda hurt that he did that but later that night i was gettin in to the shower but i heard talkin comin from the living room. i overheard my brother sister aunt an cousin talkin bout it.an i heard my lil sister say well i hate him for it..an that hurt alot. but my brother yelled at her..dont hate him for that no matter wat hes still ur brother..an eventually she came around..now it doesnt bother them. an now i really dnt care who knows its nothing to be ashamed of..its the way we r an nothing can change that

lostcricket

11/3 at 0:14

I havent told my parents. My mom asked me one day if i was, she told me she loves me know matter what but i still didnt have the balls to tell her. My dad on the other hand said if i was a fucking fagot he kick me out soo that put me a couple steps back and with my friends that was easy they showed me tons of support and it even opened some of my closed minded friends eyes.

lowtoy88

11/2 at 22:47

i came out to my best friends at 21 first they said they all was love me know matter what, then sent a face book and myspace blog telling everyone and i have not had any thing but positive feedback from everyone i was lucky, mom told me it was a sin but she still loved me, but the moment i hit send i was scared shitless

Jonno11

11/2 at 22:25

I came out to my dad and his wife in Aug of 07, then i thought okay, and sat back for a year, but in the last few months i have outed myself to my friends. Next step is my Mom and her husband, hopefully in the next 2 weeks. The trick is to set a deadline and stick to it.

Nuke41

11/2 at 21:35

It's hard, my mom was like booth's. It gave me such a feeling of elation though, and lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. I told my parents the day i moved out for college, just sat em down and said it bluntly. Takes courage and knowing that you have good friends and people who love you no matter what.

Archangelff

11/2 at 21:31

I've gotten to the point where I just don't care who knows, so if someone asks me, I'll tell them. Aside from that, I'm also not out to my family, though in my opinion, they don't really need to know unless I start bringing guys over for them to meet.

mdg